Redefining Self-Care

Recently, a friend came to my house to get my help on a work project. She works from home, putting in long hours, often starting her day before the sun comes up in order to connect to the mainland. She is usually exhausted and makes little time for herself. Knowing this, I wanted to care for her in some way. As I poured myself an ice water, adding ginger and turmeric electrolytes, I poured one for her as well.

When she arrived to my house that afternoon, we made our way outside to the lanai and I handed her her glass. She took a sip and paused. Then, she drank more and said, “Wow! This is the only nice thing I’ve done for myself all day.” It was 2pm.

Most people think of self-care as extravagant, expensive, time consuming endeavors that they can’t make space for. They may feel selfish or pressed for time or that they can’t afford spa days, yoga retreats or gym memberships. Most people aren’t used to putting their needs first.

I like to think of self-care as small acts of kindness I can practice throughout the day. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad at a massage appointment or a pedicure when I can. But to me, self-care can be a way of meeting my own basic needs throughout the day to remind myself that I matter.

In my former life, I used to catch myself eating lunch over the kitchen sink while scrolling through social media or emptying the dishwasher. Meanwhile, I was making Pinterest-worthy lunches for my husband and my son. I just wasn’t spending the same time and energy on myself. I later came to realize that I deserve a nice lunch too.

Now, I make self-care a priority. But instead of hour long workout classes or bubble baths and champagne, I find little ways to love myself throughout the day. What self-care can look like for me is taking a walk at the beach. Having a bedtime routine. Eating three meals a day and drinking water. Finding balance between Netflix and productivity. Not judging or criticizing myself. Honoring my feelings. Saying no or taking a break when I’ve had enough. And using paper plates when I can’t keep up with the dishes.

Let’s normalize self-care being more about self-kindness and less about luxury. How can you show yourself some love today?

Aloha,

Suzanne