This Is How I Feel

Growing up, I wasn’t taught anything about emotions except that mine were too big, too often and too much. I wasn’t comforted when I was angry or sad or filled with anxiety. Instead, I was told to stop crying. To be quiet. To calm down.

In relationships with other people who were also not taught about emotions, I was told I was too insecure, too moody, too jealous. I was told to calm down, chill out and relax.

Naturally, I developed a fair amount of self-doubt.

When I would experience emotions, I would question why. But this questions wasn’t coming from curiosity.

It was coming from judgment and shame and disgust.

Why do I feel this way?

Do other people feel this way?

Is it normal to feel this way?

Should I feel this way?

How can I stop myself from feeling this way?

Why won’t this feeling go away?

It can be so easy to buy into the myth that your feelings are too much. That they mean something about you as a person. That there is something wrong with you.

But this is just a myth.

There isn’t actually a quantifiable amount of emotion deemed appropriate in any given situation. There is no gauge. There

is no one in charge. There is no certificate you receive when you are great at feelings.

So, instead of asking yourself why or if you should be feeling this way, start to practice accepting that this is how you feel. This may be difficult at first. You may feel unsure about how you are “supposed” to feel. You may not have the vocabulary to identify what you feel. If you keep practicing, it will expand over time. You can start simple.

I feel sad

I feel angry

I feel overwhelmed

I feel anxious

I feel proud

I feel happy

I feel motivated

You can then follow up by asking yourself what you need to care for yourself.

This might feel foreign at first. It’s possible that you have never asked yourself what you need before. It’s also possible that you are not sure what you need. That’s okay! Start practicing and see what comes up for you.

I feel sad; I need a hug

I feel angry; I need to go for a walk

I feel overwhelmed; I need a 10-minute break

I feel anxious; I need to take a few deep breaths

I feel proud; I need to celebrate myself

I feel happy; I need to take in the present moment

I feel motivated; I need to make a to-do list

And if you need support while working on this, or anything else, I’m here.

You’ve got this. I believe in you.

Suzanne

If you are curious about getting coached or would like to know how life coaching can help you, schedule a FREE consultation with me to learn more. You can schedule sessions and purchase session packages HERE. I look forward to working with you.