Requests, Demands & Boundaries, Oh My!

Before I actually learned about boundaries, I thought they were used to control other people’s behavior. But the truth is, people are going to people no matter how much you tell them what they can and cannot do.

You can make a request:

I wish you wouldn’t stop by my house unannounced.

Please don’t raise your voice with me.

I don’t like it when you check your phone while we’re talking.

You can me a demand:

You can’t stop by my house unannounced.

Don’t raise your voice with me!

Stop checking your phone while we are talking.

You can set a boundary:

If you stop by my house unannounced, I will not answer my door.

If you raise your voice with me, I will end the conversation.

If you check your phone while we are talking, I will leave the room.

With requests and demands, you are giving your power away. You are relying on other people for your own well being.

With boundaries, you are in control of your experience, no matter how other people behave.

To set a proper boundary, use this format:

If you ________________,

then I will _____________.

You don’t have to announce your boundaries. You don’t have to get angry or yell. You don’t have to make a scene or reach your breaking point. But you do have to follow through. The only way to ensure that your boundaries are not crossed is by honoring yourself and keeping your word.

If you could use support around setting a boundary, or in any other area, I’m here for you.

You’ve got this. I believe in you,

Suzanne

If you are curious about getting coached or would like to know how life coaching could help you, schedule a FREE consultation to learn more. If you are an existing client or would like to get started, schedule your sessions and purchase discounted session packages HERE. I can’t wait to work with you.